*Country Lessons*

I love country music <3

"Trying Not To Love You" by Nickelback

"Trying Not To Love You"

You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?

[Chorus]But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yetBut I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you moreOnly makes me love you more

And this kind of pain, only time takes away
That's why it's harder to let you go (That's why it's harder to let you go)
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you
That's why it's harder to let you go (That's why it's harder to let you go)

[Chorus]But if there's a pill to help me forget,God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love youOnly makes me love you more

So I sit here divided, just talking to myself
Was it something that I did?Was there somebody else?
When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears,
Sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear
Said, I've been dying to tell you

That trying not to love you, only went so far
Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart
Now I see the silver lining, from what we're fighting for
We just keep on trying, we could be much more'Cause trying not to love you
Oh, yeah, trying not to love you 
Only makes me love you more Only makes me love you more

**This song reminds me of someone special, it describes the situation perfectly. I'm trying not to love him, but I can't help but fall harder and harder each time i'm with him...**

I WANT A GUY. . . .

Who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me.

Hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
Someone who would think i was beautiful if i dressed so trashy it was classy.
Someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Who would let me sleep on his chest.
Who knows the right things to say and do at the right times.
A boy who would beat the crap out of someone if they called me a b**ch.
I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.
He would apologize for calling too much and no matter how many times i tell him its okay, he still does it and i dont get sick of it.
Someone who would let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything i said.
He would throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb and then dog pile on me and kiss me a millon times
We would bet kisses on who could beat who on a playstations game thats a millon years old.
And someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh
He would surprise me with 25 cent rings,
and we would have contest of how far we could spit our gum.
He would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time.
Someone who would kiss my neck just to have a reason to tell me how much he likes my new perfume,
and at night we would dance in our pajamas
and we'd always take pictures in photo booths..
He would never turn down a trip to the boardwalk
and we'd play tag on the beach.
He would tell all his friends about me and smile when he did it.
We would sit on the floor and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
and we'd make out in the pouring rain.
He would tell me when he didnt think something looked good and i wouldnt mind.
He would TRY to teach me how to play the guitar but we'd just end up laughing at eachother.
He would run his fingers through my hair even if it was dirty.
He would share lollipops with me and get along with all of my friends.
He would never be afraid to say "i love you" in front of his friends
and we would argue about silly things with me then make up.
I want a boy who would take me to target to just make fun of some of the stuff there.
We would kiss at midnight on new years and make funny faces at each other when we're on the phone.
I want a boy who would count stars with me and be friends with my family.
I want someone who would stay home with me on a friday night just to help me make a dinner and watch moives together under the same blanket and squirt water guns at eachother in the house.
Someone who would tell me im beautiful but not too often ..
Someone who would look me in the eye and tell me something serious that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh.
Someone who would make me laugh like no one else could.
Someone who would hold me closer than normal when im sick, and would play with my hair.
We would buy tons of disposible cameras and take lots of pictures.
But mostly..
I want someone who would be my best friend and would never lie to me or break my heart . . .



If its a circle...When will I get hurt again?

No matter how hard you try, you get hurt. No matter how honest you are, you get called a liar. When you would give up everything for one person, and they shut you down and say that you're a player. When they break your heart then go for your best friend. When your best friend goes for him and it destroys your friendship. When you feel as if you have no one. Out of the blue, your friend wants you back. The guy you once loved and would give anything for, wants to talk again. You hangout with one, hear about things. Ask the other, they deny what happened. Decide that you are sick of the crap and forgive them both. When?? When will I get hurt again? If this is a circle, how long will it take before I get everything taken from me once again? Did he really care for her or do it to get under my skin? Do I distance myself or do I let things go back to the way they were? These are the type of things I deal with and try to make sense of everyday. I stress and worry about these things, wonder and ask myself what I should do. I try to go day by day but it gets harder. I don't want to screw up...and most of all I don't want to get hurt again.

A Slow Day

December 3, 2011

Slow day duck hunting turned into a fun day, it was well worth the wait! We only killed 6 ducks but had a blast while doing it. We got up to snow Saturday morning and went to Kelly's house to get him, the boat and headed out to the Res. As we were setting up there were ducks flyin everywhere and as usual we were late because I couldn't get my butt out of bed! When we finally got set up there wasn't much flyin. We had the occasional flock that would fly over but of course they were to high. Nine o'clock rolled around and we had only killed one duck it was a hen widgeon that was coming in the decoys just perfect and Kelly folded her. I was getting very impatient, as I usually do, because i was cold. Behind us we could here geese but couldn't pin point where they were at. They ended up coming in just north of us so we weren't able to get any shots off. Shortly after the geese came in we seen something flying in from the south but we couldn't figure out what it was, it ended up being a swan! A swan on the Res. I know right that's crazy!  It was really cool to see him lock down on the pond and glide across it as he went and landed on the north side where he went out of sight. An hour or so went by and I was still cold and ready to go, the whether cleared up so that helped but still, when you're cold, you're cold. I had told my dad that I wanted to leave and he told me to wait ten more minutes. About five minutes later we had three ducks coming in from the decoys just right! It was awesome! As soon as they rapped around the tree they were done for! Two Drake and a Hen Wood Duck! Those are rare enough but on the Res.! It was awesome made the day worth it!

Camo!

Bow Fishing

Summer 2011

With Shaun Larsen

*Always and Forever*

"I wanna spin around, feel the rain. I wanna feel alive, maybe a little insane. I wanna act with no regrets. I want to be me...nothing less. I wanna dance like nobodies looking and sing like nobody cares. I wanna have ambition with a little less fears. I wanna love fully with my whole heart. I don't want to leave this world until I know I've done my part. I wanna see the waves crash down and touch the stars out of reach. I wanna give you my heart and know it's yours to keep. I wanna see the future and know we'll be together. I wanna hold your and and whisper, I promise always and forever" -Jessica Powlas

**Picture taken by Kristy Nicole. Delicious Photography.**